Happy first quarter moon! My oh my, that beautiful orb in the sky has got some potent energy this cycle! All you can do is roll with it... With a smile on your face and willingness in your heart.
I have finally surfaced, for a deep breath of air, and a long overdue check-in with all of you. It has been a productive couple of months of continued healing and deep introspection. The journey took me to Minnesota for 6 weeks. I spent that time caring for and getting to know my aunt, who was recovering from a badly broken elbow. I spent that time living in my aunt's home, which used to be a convent for The School Sisters of Notre Dame. The perfect place for contemplation and introspection. Not to mention communing with the Divine!
I now find myself in my "hometown" (Enjoying spending time with my other aunt). I call it my hometown not because I was born here, but because it has been home to my family since I was 9 years old (minus a couple of short stints in neighboring towns). Being here has been more emotionally challenging than I would have expected. However, I could have expected it, considering I haven't chosen to spend much time here since I left. The time I spent here as a child and teenager was certainly a mixed bag. I have had more pivotal experiences here, challenging and beautiful alike, than any other place in the world.
When I first arrived here at 9 years old, I felt safe. Maybe for the first time ever. I also felt more alone than I had ever felt. I experienced the joy of being the first to hold my baby brother when he was born. My longest and deepest friendship was crystallized here. I got drunk for the first time, feel in love for the first time and had my first orgasm here. It was also here that I was raped and beat up (two different incidences), and where my first and dearest dog was shot and killed. I experienced some of the worst and most beautiful aspects of humanity here in this town of 800 people.
Now I am given the opportunity to revisit all of those experiences, do any healing that still needs to be done, and make friends with any ghosts and demons that I still carry with me. No better place than here. No better moment than now.
I look out at the Huajatoyas as I take my long walks and I am just as awed as I have always been at the majesty of this mountain valley. The enormity of the star filled night sky literally takes my breath away, as it reminds me of the immensity of the Divine Universe. Mama Earth brings me to my knees as I bask in her glory. I come home to myself and I meet the emotional challenge with an open heart and a strong desire to be whole; to never exclude any part of myself.
After working with a new client today, I was humbly reminded of how much more alive and joyous I feel when I am sharing my healing gifts with others. It's like doing this work is my life line, el umbral, the doorway to my own vitality and my own true self. It is when I love and heal you all that I am most able to love and heal myself. Thank you for the privilege!
With deeply felt love and gratitude,
2/19/2016 06:40:52 pm
Wow, beautiful, heart felt, sad, joyous....hummmm just like life....who beat you up?Was it in the Park at the same time? I wish a mother could know these things when they were happening...oh the pain of youth. xoxox MOM
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Tawa Ranes has a very curious mind and has always been interested in the nature of consciousness and the workings of the Universe. Since healing has been a big part of her own personal journey, much of her curiosity focuses on understanding how and why healing occurs or fails to take place.