I seek sovereignty. I am engaged in the pursuit of my own life. I long for absolute authority over my actions and my being. At least my head and my heart. And hopefully my hips.
I do get it, I realize that the fact that I can have sovereignty as a central concern in my life, leaks and oozes, and maybe screams, privilege. I am aware that I don’t have to be concerned about my next meal, that I don’t have to fear that I will be egregiously violated, or worse, murdered, for the color of my skin or the shape of my eyes. I am acutely aware that I don’t have to risk a dangerous border crossing to feed my children and that I’m not in peril of perishing in one of the many genocidal currents of modern ‘society.’
I get it that the mere fact that I sit here contemplating sovereignty, implies that I have a roof over my head, my belly is full, and my toes are warm. It implies that I am educated, that I have time to read, and that no one will be busting down my door in the middle of the night to drag me away, never be heard from again; simply because I have opposing beliefs to my government, my family or my society. Or because I have more melanin in my skin.
So, from this place of privilege, I conjure, and I incite. I yell and I scream. I push as hard as I can against the misogyny, racism and bigotry in the world. In hopes that by doing this I somehow create just a little more space. That I start to weaken some of the barriers. I punch holes in the glass ceiling. I plant seeds for our children. Maybe even help our privileged, and sometimes rigid, elders to learn to cultivate new crops. So that we might share some of the risks, so that you may be able to find more safe places in which you might contemplate your sovereignty.
I do it for the young Mexican woman who recently lost her life at the hands of her boyfriend (American unfortunately). I do it for my daughter and her new wife who must work so hard to make a life for themselves. I do it for my son and my brother and everyone else who is plagued with the modern affliction of anxiety. I do it for my partner so that he might be able to let go of any feelings of regret and inadequacy he holds. I do it for myself. So that I might permanently disavow the ogre of perfection in my head that still sometimes finds her way in to badger me. Thankfully, I’m no longer inclined to listen, but it would be lovely if I simply no longer heard that voice.
I want to live a sovereign existence. I finally believe in my ability to live in alignment with my higher self. I trust myself to make human decisions that feel appropriate, healthy and true for me. I know myself to have strong ethics regarding the wellbeing of other humans, the non-human inhabitants of this world and the Earth herself. I have become more adept at disallowing any dictatorial tendencies and corrupting influences that want to worm their way into my person-dom. Afterall, this is my one precious life. Only I can live it.
Thank you all for sharing your one precious life with me. And here’s to your sovereignty in 2023!
All my love,
Tawa Ranes has a very curious mind and has always been interested in the nature of consciousness and the workings of the Universe. Since healing has been a big part of her own personal journey, much of her curiosity focuses on understanding how and why healing occurs or fails to take place.