Dancing on Flow

Hello Dearest Ones,
I was talking to my daughter recently about how we are both trying to manage our "planner tendencies," as we attempt to flow with the things that are currently happening in our lives. I am starting a renovation project on my property and she and her partner are buying a house. Both of those things have a lot of moving parts. So naturally, I want to jump into planning mode and figure out all of the details, from start to finish. Right now. I have always felt safer taking big steps in my life when I can see (or at least have the illusion I can) the whole path laid out in front of me. I am often susceptible to fear when I feel like I’m taking a blind leap into the unknown.

That is pretty human of me. The interesting thing is that if I take a quick inventory of my life, and the experiences that have been most beneficial to me, the most additive experiences, they are always the leaps of faith. Or, when I’m too chicken shit to leap, and the Universe pushes me off the cliff. It’s never the actions that I am able to plan in advance down to the finest minutia that reap the sweetest harvest. So why do I still cling so tightly to my planning tendencies?

It can be hard for me to imagine the whole when I can’t see many of the details. Especially if the details are financial or rely heavily on others. (Just so you know my particular hang ups.) To be able to hold an image of what I want, what I am striving for, in the midst of the unknown, is exactly how manifesting works. To unhesitatingly take the next step, without knowing if the ground will be there when my foot falls, is a deeply spiritual practice. A practice that requires me to behave a little less humanly, and far more trustingly.

I have become pretty adept at approaching things spiritually. Just as I have good planning skills. Where I get caught up, is when I have to move fluidly back and forth between the spiritual approach to something (flowing), and the parts of the process that require some planning and action on my (or another person's) part. Dancing back and forth between those two realms is hard for me. Putting the action onto someone else, is hard for me. If I can tap into and sense the flow, when the project is in a different dimension or in the hands of another, I can more easily trust the workings of the Universe. I can release my impulse to start planning.

I have had many opportunities through the years to learn about flow and all of its iterations. It seems like I get caught up on things when the flowing doesn’t look like flowing. Or, in this case, when the flow is intermingled with little eddy pools. When I hit the eddies, sometimes I am asked to take massive action, and other times I’m asked to be completely still. I have to relax my system and flow, then seamlessly jump into action, then to be completely still for a bit, before I find it’s time to flow again. It’s a sweet dance between stamina, agility and stillness. I wish it was that easy. For me it’s always the pauses. Why do I get so hung up on the pauses?

I suppose it’s because pauses create the illusion that the flow has stopped. When we can’t see or feel the movement, we make the assumption that things are no longer flowing. However, that is the magical thing about flow; it includes suspension. When things appear suspended in time and space, is exactly when the deeper level flow is happening. It’s when the creative energy of the void is active (think manifesting). And because it's a different dimension, we can’t see it. Or at least we aren’t practiced at seeing it. We just have to trust that it is in fact happening. And maybe develop deeper sight. Either way gets you there. The trusting is just faster. So here I go, trusting the process, trusting the Universe, trusting my own capacities, and trusting the flow.
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Sending you so much love,
Tawa