Hello Dear Ones!
You are likely still feeling a lot of emotional and psychic tension and confusion. We have moved through some very demanding astrology which has required us to dig deep into our inner beings and our hearts to better understand ourselves, our circumstances, and those around us. We will be feeling tempted to jump into action, to re-design our plan and rework our ideas about how to move forward. Most of us are not yet equipped with all of the essential tools and information to create big action. For the moment. Know that the moment of action is approaching and soothe your agitation by reminding yourself that everything turns out healthier, more refined and complete, if we allow it adequate time for gestation. It is tempting to want to force forward/ upward movement right now. Remember that what sometimes appears to be stagnation is in fact elucidation and refinement. We often have to surrender to the stillness and absence of noise and distraction before we can truly see a clear and concise path forward. Allow for regular moments of contemplation and curiosity. Resist the urge to push, force and orchestrate. And when the inevitable voice of self-recrimination surfaces, remind yourself that no true progress happens without conscientious moments (I am aware that these sometimes feel unending) of quiet reflection and a willingness to allow things to emerge and unfold in a gentler more feminine manner. The more you approve of, consent to, and embrace your awakening, the more fruitful the awareness of your deeper essence can be. The more easily you recognize and integrate who you truly are into how you participate in your personal human experience, the more you understand the true meaning of surrender. We are all making huge evolutionary strides as of late, and will be for a good while to come. Surrender to these changes is the most effective and least distressing way to move forward. Be gentle with yourself. It is very human to resist. When you meet resistance simply notice how painful it is and ask for the grace to be willing to release that resistance. Ask for the willingness to give up the struggle.
Develop a daily practice of self-love and self acceptance. Know that you truly are exactly where you are meant to be. This is always true. Even when we feel lost, off track and utterly bewildered.
Sending you all love and blessings from here through the autumnal equinox.
P.S. Notice the shadows on these shadows during the solar eclipse. We are mucking through deep and ancient layers of the self and the collective. This requires a gentle, receptive and cooperative approach. Allow the Divine Feminine to guide you now.
Hello Dear Ones!
As we step into August we just might be feeling the burn. All of the old detritus burning away. We are at the center of the fire and are certainly feeling the heat. The beauty of it is that it is a deeply cleansing and healing flame that envelops us. Think of the Phoenix that must burst into flames and become ash before returning to life in a new, brighter, wiser, and more evolved form.
Be very gentle with yourself as you navigate the powerful eclipse energy this month. Give yourself permission to slough off ALL conventions and societal norms that no longer fit (or never did fit) you. You are the only one who can know how you most beautifully show up in this human form. Give yourself permission to wear your soul on your sleeve, on your chest, in your voice or in your dancing feet. Wherever it most wants to show itself. Show us your unique ability to dance, sing, nurture, cook and garden humanity into a more loving era. However you are inspired to express your vitality, allow yourself to do it with reckless abandon and NO apologies. Be the love that we all so desperately want and need!
Much of the heaviness you are feeling is not yours. Really! You are not responsible for anyone else's experiences. We all have our individual journey and lessons. Be careful not to fall into the trap of trying to coax others into learning their lessons. You might be able to see it clearly for them, but they are the only one who can advance their evolution. Clear the energies that you are carrying that are not your own. Simply close your eyes, take a deep breath, and state that you let go of all heaviness and emotions that are not your own. Once you have done that, take another breath and offer compassion and grace to those for whom you release responsibility. In the words of Abraham Hicks, "You cannot use your strength to shore up other's weaknesses." We do other's a disservice by seeing them as incapable of caring for themselves or too weak to make the changes they need to make.
Tolerance, compassion, and a hearty dose of self-care are what is called for at the moment. Step out into the world with self love and see how profound the impact is.
With deep love and respect,
P.S. An example of throwing off societal conventions.
There is a dense martyr energy that dwells here. We are experiencing an intensifying commitment to bodhisattva. And it is true, we must choose to be a part of the collective ascension -of the collective healing. Martyrdom, however, is not required. We can find the joyful way of the light worker. We can live from a place of compassion without experiencing "compassion fatigue." We can live in perpetual compassion, and this can only happen if we include ourselves in that spotlight of compassion. If we are always shining the light on others and never turning it upon ourselves we silently and slowly burn out. But literally. Light needs light. It needs light to be coming and going, from us and into us. If it is only ever flowing away from us we aren't being fed by it. We all need to be fed. Not just our bellies, but our hearts and our souls. If you are unable to feed yourself right now, if you aren't able to shine your own light back on yourself, find another light worker who can. Allow yourself to be the recipient of a healing, a blessing, a compassionate conversation with a dear friend. Recharge your light. An incomplete circuit, one that only flows in one direction, is incapable of supplying infinite energy. A full circuit is required for continual renewal.
If you are experiencing a re-run or a recurrence of old or recently resolved issues (health, heart, soul) take heart, this is just a final run through so that you can clean up anything that still needs attention and resolutions. We cannot take those things with us where we are going. We are no longer a vibrational match for them.
With Immense Love and Compassion,
P.S. I have included a YouTube video meditation to help you complete the circuit and actively recruit your spiritual support.
Greetings from Colorado, where we had been experiencing some unseasonably warm and dry weather and now are experiencing what might be considered an excess of moisture. We are well trained in Colorado to never complain about moisture. Even if it comes in the form of floods! The weather extremes we are experiencing make me concerned for our Mother Earth, although I also acknowledge that these are our own polarizing human tendencies showing themselves in the environment. She (Gaia) and all of you beautiful humans have been on my mind and in my heart lately. The astounding racist, bigoted and misogynistic political current that is playing out in this country makes me wonder: How do we heal all of the feminine wounds of this world (and masculine wounds for that matter), so that we can move forward to a more peaceful, humane and cohesive future? I know for me it begins with healing our own personal wounds and our family wounds. If we approach our neighbors with a whole and peaceful heart instead of a wounded heart we have a much better chance of bringing love and compassion into that exchange. Sometimes, as we are witnessing with the US presidency, we have to confront and face our shadows so that we can truly heal them. We as a collective have to acknowledge that these deep seeded beliefs still exist in this country, even though we understand that it isn't that large of a current.
I share with you a POEM and a PHOTOGRAPH that both have been an important part of my healing journey. They speak to our resilience and perseverance. There is tension and anger in the words and the poem, however it is with allowing myself to feel these shadow emotions that I have been able to truly move beyond them. The shadow emotions can't just be swept under the rug. We must pick them up, take a good look to see that we truly understand their purpose in our lives, collected them all, and then diligently throw them into the trash bin. Or better yet the recycling bin! To be transmuted and brought into higher vibration by the cosmic bad asses that are in this transition with us. That are here to inform our actions and cheer us on when we are heading slightly more toward evolution and ascension, and slightly less toward devolution.
Wind, Salt and Stone
As of late I have again been thinking about the idea of flow. In my last blog I wrote about what flow looks and feels like when there is a lot of movement and momentum in life. I talked about how it feels to flow when things are FLOWING. Now I turn my curiosity to the idea of flow when what you are experiencing in your life feels more like stagnation, obstruction, or churning. How do we access FLOW and still tune into the energy of flowing with Divine presence when what we are experiencing in the material world is complete stillness? Or, possibly even more challenging for many of us; when we are facing downright obstruction, or the endless spinning and agitation of being stuck in a whirlpool. What does flow look like from the middle of the eddy pool or from the riverbank when you have just butted up against a huge boulder and you can’t find a way around it? What are your options when there is no viable way of creating productive forward movement? What do we learn in the stillness of just waiting it out until there is enough momentum for the whirlpool to spit us out, or for the water level to rise sufficiently for us to finally flow over the obstruction? How do we continue to energetically flow when we are faced with the inertia of stillness, or when confronted by agitation and non-linear movement? What does that feel like?
Understanding how to flow in stillness likely begins with acknowledging that we have a collective societal dislike of stillness. And an equal dislike of agitation. We don’t voluntarily practice stillness or agitation (movement without a direction) as much as we practice action (movement with a purpose). In fact, most of us try to avoid them all together. Both stillness and churning are interpreted as the absence of order in our lives. We experience them as an undesired lack of control. So our knee jerk reaction is to try to change the situation. We work hard to get unstuck and to get moving again. When confronted with stagnation or agitation we inevitably respond with effort; even when it feels like single handedly pushing a two ton boulder up a steep hill. We would rather work ourselves into a state of complete exhaustion than to be still, or to sit patiently in an agitated state. It is completely counter intuitive for most of us to relax and allow ourselves to simply experience the churning with the faith that eventually we will be dumped out exactly where we need to be. We haven’t yet learned to sit in stillness with the knowledge and trust that there is invisible work being done (both by us and on our behalf) that truly is moving us forward in our trajectory. Invariably we react to both stillness and churning with effort. Some sort of effort to help us gain, at the very least, the illusion of forward momentum.
Maybe that’s the whole point. When we are in a moment of stillness or in a period of being stuck in the vortex, we aren't dealing with the kind of energy that can be moved or transmuted with effort. In this instance effort just batters and bruises us as we thrash about and bump up against the obstacle. Or it exhausts us. We can swim and swim and swim without ever arriving at an end point, without ever breaking free of the whirlpool, because that end point simply doesn’t exist yet. That particular door has not yet been opened. So what would happen if we rolled over and floated on our back until we were finally, effortlessly caught up by the tide and slowly moved by it? Either way, whether we resist or peacefully submit to the experience, the timing is not ours. The timing is always Divine. We will only arrive at a destination when it is time for us to arrive at that destination. We will only discover the fork in the road when we are actually prepared to choose a direction.
That's what the experience of stillness and agitation offer, they offer a pause, a moment in space and time to prepare for what is to come. Our efforts have no effect on the length of the journey. Effort will not get you there faster. Effort only affects the condition in which you arrive at the next stage. You can arrive well rested and well-nourished (because you figured out how to flow) or you can arrive battered, bruised and exhausted (the result of resistance). What flowing in stillness calls for, what the endless churning truly calls for; is SURRENDER. They call for sitting and submitting, and serenely witnessing your life as it readies you for the next step or next series of steps that you will need to take.
I encourage you to play with the idea of surrender. Become curious about it. Surrender to the stillness. Surrender to the chaos and churning if that is what is present in your life. Avoid the temptation to try to get unstuck. Avoid all effort. Just sit and allow the Universe to move you. There is something you are trying to learn from being here, so let yourself be here. Stop trying to get there. Surrender to the here and now, look around, open your eyes and see this moment, and then ask your mind and your heart to accept that you truly are exactly where you are supposed to be. Be here now. Be with those who are in this moment with you. Release the belief that you are stuck. You ARE flowing, right here, in the stillness!
So very much love for you all,
Hello My Beautiful Friends! I greet you from Faenza, Italy!
I have been given many opportunities as of late to become intimately familiar with the idea of "going with the flow." For me, one of the hardest aspects of life is to trust enough (myself, life, the universe, the Divine), to relax and simply allow things to unfold. I have spent most of my life doing a lot of planning, goal setting, and organizing. It doesn't come naturally for me to feel at ease with the idea that all I can do is to put one foot in front of the other and be present with each moment; while life does its thing and unfolds around me. I want to actively unfold it, decide when and where it should unfold, and know well in advance what the outcome of that unfolding entails. Sound like anyone you know? Philosophically I understand that this is not how the Universe works, but my human mind really likes to have at least the illusion that I've got all the details figured out in advance.
As my travels in Europe unfold, I am quickly reminded that life is a journey: with many different twist and turns, some anticipated and others that contain the joyous element of surprise. Being the contemplative sort that I am, my recent experiences have brought my mind to rest on the often underrepresented and under-admired virtue of being able to FLOW through life. When I started this trip I had a basic framework in place; which for me was necessary. It allowed me to feel that I had a known trajectory. A stepping off point, that created a strong enough sense of security for me to brave getting on the plane that flew me over the Atlantic Ocean, to start my four and a half month sojourn into the unknown. Within the first two week of being here that framework had to be completely restructured. Between unforeseen visa issues and simply having a better sense of what I am looking for from this trip once I got here, the original framework was no longer functional. I'm still in the process of restructuring it, but this time there is a built in sense that everything I plan for today may very well have a different plan for me by tomorrow.
It doesn't surprise me that I chose to start my adventures in Europe in a small town in the Italian Alps. Mother Earth, and more specifically her majestic mountains, have always held a special place for me. It is where I can most feel the Great Mother's presence. When I am near her in this way, she takes me into her arms, tenderly sheltering me. Letting me fill myself with her warmth, and hear the beat of her heart, as she gives me the strength and courage to live as boldly as she does each day. To love as broadly and freely. She is an example to me, of cosmic proportions, of how to live unfettered, abundant and joyous. It was the prefect place in which to start my journey. I had intended to stay for three months in that heavenly nest...
Once I was safely ensconced on Italian soil, the Universe reminded me that we are co-creators. I have dreamed my dream and put my plan into action, and now it's time for me to allow the Divine to build a web of synchronicity far greater than what my human mind is able to imagine. I have let my desires be known to the Great Creator and now I must sit back, relax, and allow the Universe to work its magic. When the life pushes me in a new direction it is my responsibility to feel that push and allow it to initiate movement. So, to the best of my ability, I am relaxing into the FLOW and allowing it to guide my journey.
I am a known "resister." I often have to wear myself out swimming upstream for a time before I remember to turn on my back, point my feet down stream, and let it take me. As I learn and evolve the resistance is becoming less and less of an automatic reaction. There was no delay in my actions this time. I immediately responded to the Universe's nudges and allowed myself to be moved by them. However, I did have to do a small amount of mental unraveling to see my way clear of the doubts that wanted to invade my being when it become obvious that I was going to have to do some authentic flowing on this trip.
Blessedly, once I had rested upon the Great Mother's breast, and dipped my toes into the deep and unfamiliar waters of the Italian language and culture with her encouragement and support, I feel brave enough to move into larger populations. I know she will always be with me as I journey to yet unfamiliar places. I will feel her presence when the wind moves through my hair. I will feel her presence in the hearts of the people I encounter. And I will feel her presence as I sit in meditation, inviting her in and asking that she continue to share her wisdom with me, telling me when it is time to stay and when it is time to go.
The Great Mother reminds me of the importance and necessity of flow, of movement. She shelters me when I need shelter and she tells me when it is time to leave the nest. To lovingly release the maternal bosom, so that I might venture farther and wider in my quest. To leave the comfort of that small town nestled in a deep mountain valley, so that I might happen upon more of the fellow travelers that are on this journey with me. The kindred spirits I so long to know. She reminds me that I can stand strong and walk forward on my own two feet, and that she will always be there to guide me.
As the Universe was nudging me to soften my plans and consider a change of scenery, I came across this quote by my friend John Tzavelas. "Just because something feels like it's meant to be when it happens, that doesn't mean you're not meant to move on once maximum growth has been extracted." It was a great reminder that even when we are acting on intuition and heart guidance, life is still fluid and impermanent. So, even though my decision to go to that particular place in Italy had been right in the moment, and had effectively gotten me to Italy in the first place, it didn't mean that the decision to leave that place wasn't just as intuitive and heart driven.
So this is what it means to me right now to flow. To let the journey lift you, move you, and sometimes place you in situations and locations you never expected or planned for. May we all continue to learn to be more fluid, and to let life gently wash away some of our more rigid nature.
Hello All My Beautiful Fellow Humans!
So, this is a super exciting newsletter/blog for me to FINALLY be able to write…
I have had only 12 migraines (and 4 tension headaches that were bad enough to need to treat with ½ Vicodin) in the last 83 DAYS!! Wow!! For those of you that don’t know my migraine history, this may not sound so wonderful, but for those of you who know that I have had a migraine every day for the last 6 or 7 years and at least 15-20 migraines a month for the 7 or so years before that: THIS IS SPECTACULAR NEWS!
I’m going to break this article down into 3 sections. The first will simply be what I have been doing recently that seems to be making the difference. The second will be a more detailed history of my migraines and those injuries, illnesses, traumas and emotional issues that likely played/ play a part in my particular migraine “puzzle,” and the final will be a comprehensive list of all of the therapies and treatments that I have tried in the last 14 years. I will include any benefits I received while engaging in those therapies as well. I want to organize it this way so that it is incredibly user friendly. If you suffer from migraines and you haven’t found relief you can simply read the first section and get started on seeing if it works for you. If you have less than stellar success (which mine has truly been stellar) then you can read further and see if there are other pieces of my migraine puzzle that intersect with your migraine puzzle and might give you additional information on things you could try.
I want to be very deliberate in saying that I am in no way claiming that this is going to work for everyone. It isn’t that I don’t hope that it will work for everyone, I absolutely do. I simply don’t want to be as arrogant as many have been toward me in the last 14 years when they have said thing to me like: “All you have to do it is ________. I haven’t had a migraine since I ________. (Fill in the blank. I’m sure you have heard this as many times as I have.)
I have had a theory about my migraines for a while. I have always felt that there are myriad aspects to my migraines that I often refer to as “pieces of the puzzle.” I have been putting this puzzle back together for years, and I have intuitively felt that as soon as I put the final pieces into place, the migraines would go away. And, it would appear, that I have finally placed the final pieces into that puzzle. That being said, I’m 100% certain that everyone’s personal migraine puzzle has a different number of pieces and different sized, shaped and colored pieces. My puzzle is probably a 50 piece jig saw puzzle. It has some areas that fall together easily because of the great contrast in color and design in those sections, and then it has the section of the puzzle that is all the same color, shape and texture. You know; that part of the puzzle that, even looking at each piece for minute details and differences, simply all looks the same! And that is always the last part of the puzzle to fall into place.
As you read what I am doing now, and what is finally helping me get well, it might be beneficial to acknowledge that these are some of the most critical pieces of MY puzzle. They may or may not be the most critical pieces of YOUR puzzle. It could be that something I did previously will be the most beneficial piece for you. So, as you read, be really intuitive and let yourself notice if something really rings true for you. Our body and our mind register “our truth” in different ways. For example, when you read something that resonates with you deeply, those particular words may keep reverberating through your head, you may get butterflies in your stomach, you may feel warm and fuzzy, or your own experiences may come rushing into your consciousness (or into your body) as you read those words. So pay attention as you read.
Part One: What I’m Doing Now (From the most recent therapy moving backward chronologically)
I. Juice once a day: 5 red radishes, ½ medium red russet potato, 2-3 carrots. Make sure to stir well before drinking. The starch likes to settle on the bottom.
Start here. It’s cheap and easy. You don’t have to do anything else. Just try this and see what happens. You can also vary the type of radish and potato. Just stick with about that quantity. Marya Gendron, the woman I learned it from, had results without doing anything else. (I have no way of knowing if that would have been the case for me since I had already started the second therapy I will talk about a couple of weeks before the juicing.) Here is the link to her website: www.simplywell.info
I had been drinking the juice for three days when I had my first migraine free day. Since that first migraine free day I have only had 12 migraines in the last 83 days!! Also, since then the migraines that I have had have been much more traditional. I am consistently getting a classic migraine on day 2 of my menstrual cycle and then a few migraines that seem to stem from muscular tension and/or intense emotional stress. These also appear to cluster around menstruation.
Why it works? In Eastern medicine there is thought to be a strong link between the gut and headaches/ migraines. It would appear that the healing benefits to the large intestine, of something called “resistant starch,” also help to relieve the “digestive” aspect of migraines. As the name implies, this is a kind of starch that resists digestion in the stomach and the small intestine; so it arrives intact in the large intestine (colon) and is then used as food by the good bacteria in the LI. Thereby creating a more abundant and healthier good bacteria population. *This is super simplified. Please google resistant starch if you want more info. Or check out Marya Gendron's Simplywell Migrane Protocol. There are a lot of other potential health benefits. Especially for those of you who struggle with digestive issues specifically, and I suspect it could be profoundly beneficial for celiac disease and those with severe food sensitivities.
Side effects: Gas and bloating. Marya said she had 2 days of gas and bloating after about a month of juicing. I had it from day 2 to day 5 and also for about 2 days a month in. I had an increased appetite initially. I would encourage you not to worry if that is something you wouldn’t want to have as a side effect. From what I have read about resistant starch, it generally makes you feel more easily satiated. It probably has the opposite effect on me because my appetite tends to be underactive in the winter, so it is simply trying to put me into balance.
II.Rolfing: Do the Rolfing “Ten Series”
In Rolfing there is something called the 10 series. It is a series of approximately 10 sessions that are supposed to get you back to at least a good starting point in your own body (when I say body I include all of the etheric bodies as well.) This has been radically life altering therapy for me, even without the benefit of becoming migraine free. It is a lot more expensive than the juicing, AND it is truly one of the very best $1000 investments I have ever made. (That is approximately how much you will spend for the 10 series. Those of you in northern Colorado will spend a bit more.)
More than a decade ago my neurologist told me “Rolfers have better success than neurologist in helping people with migraines.” And he handed me the card of a Rolfer. I don’t remember why I never went to that specific Rolfer, but in the following decade I did go to a couple of different Rolfers and found that I felt nothing from the couple of sessions I went to with each practitioner. Neither of those practitioners said anything about the 10 series. You really should feel something during and after each session (and I don’t mean physical pain). Be picky! Interview the practitioner and have them explain to you their approach to Rolfing. (It is also referred to as Structural Integration.) It may take a few days or up to a week or two to feel the full effects of any given session. Take note of what is happening for you physically, mentally and emotionally during and after a session. If you are doing that honestly and you really don’t feel any changes, go to a different practitioner.
I immediately started feeling major shifts in my system back in November when I started the 10 series with a truly qualified practitioner. Most of the shifts that I initially felt were in my physical body. I could really feel the pain patterns that I carried, and I could feel when they were being pushed out or moved along the path. Because of my current gypsy life style I was not able to complete the series with that person. In my next location I found someone else and asked them to complete the series with me. They had a different training and felt it would be most beneficial to repeat the 7th session again, so by the time I was leaving that locale I was through the 8th session (according to that practitioner). Then, I found myself fairly close to a School of Structural Integration so I thought “Who better to finish the 10 series with than a master of Rolfing who also teaches it to others?” After our initial conversation and the practitioner’s initial evaluation, it was suggested that I really needed to start the 10 series over. So that is what I did. The shifts that I have felt working with this practitioner have been much more holistic and much deeper than the musculoskeletal system. Most of it has been very intimately connected with my nervous system and some very deeply held traumas that I have worked through on so many levels yet had simply been unable to release from my physical body and my energy field. After the first session I started to be able to sleep better and my migraines softened just slightly. The day of the second session was the same day as the 3rd day of juicing. I have already described my migraine relief since that day above.
III.Dump whatever emotional baggage you still carry with you (from present, prenatal or past lives)
I have used a ton of different modalities and approaches to heal my emotional traumas so I won’t go into all of it here. I simply include it because I know that I have done some of the deepest excavating ever of my emotional shit in the last four months or so. I was blessed with some wonderful life experiences recently that lay bare those traumas that still had a hold of me energetically, and I took the opportunity to muck through it as honestly and thoroughly as I possibly could, and then I LET IT GO. Don’t try to go it alone. It’s an important job and you deserve to have a really stellar support system as you work through it. The Rolfing was a critical piece in helping me to do this. A great therapist that also does somatic release work of some sort is a great place to start as well. Certainly let me know if I can help with my own techniques for trauma re-lease.
Happy healing! I sincerely and wholeheartedly hope that you find the same level of relief that I have.
Part Two: My Migraine Puzzle: Injuries, Traumas and Stress
I will write this section in list form. These are the things in my life that I believe have contributed to my migraines. I have had doctors and practitioners of all sorts have different opinions about whether or not certain things have contributed to my migraines, and to what degree. No one has ever been able to see/confirm, on MRI or CAT Scan, the “cause” of my migraines.
Part Three: A Comprehensive List of Therapies I have used
I will approach this list chronologically from most recent to least recent. I will also preface this section by letting you know that my philosophy has always been that you have to give everything you try a reasonable trial period before you should approve or dismiss it. My general idea of a fair trial period is 2-3 months.
Happy first quarter moon! My oh my, that beautiful orb in the sky has got some potent energy this cycle! All you can do is roll with it... With a smile on your face and willingness in your heart.
I have finally surfaced, for a deep breath of air, and a long overdue check-in with all of you. It has been a productive couple of months of continued healing and deep introspection. The journey took me to Minnesota for 6 weeks. I spent that time caring for and getting to know my aunt, who was recovering from a badly broken elbow. I spent that time living in my aunt's home, which used to be a convent for The School Sisters of Notre Dame. The perfect place for contemplation and introspection. Not to mention communing with the Divine!
I now find myself in my "hometown" (Enjoying spending time with my other aunt). I call it my hometown not because I was born here, but because it has been home to my family since I was 9 years old (minus a couple of short stints in neighboring towns). Being here has been more emotionally challenging than I would have expected. However, I could have expected it, considering I haven't chosen to spend much time here since I left. The time I spent here as a child and teenager was certainly a mixed bag. I have had more pivotal experiences here, challenging and beautiful alike, than any other place in the world.
When I first arrived here at 9 years old, I felt safe. Maybe for the first time ever. I also felt more alone than I had ever felt. I experienced the joy of being the first to hold my baby brother when he was born. My longest and deepest friendship was crystallized here. I got drunk for the first time, feel in love for the first time and had my first orgasm here. It was also here that I was raped and beat up, and where my first and dearest dog was shot and killed. I experienced some of the worst and most beautiful aspects of humanity here in this town of 800 people.
Now I am given the opportunity to revisit all of those experiences, do any healing that still needs to be done, and make friends with any ghosts and demons that I still carry with me. No better place than here. No better moment than now.
I look out at the Huajatoyas as I take my long walks and I am just as awed as I have always been at the majesty of this mountain valley. The enormity of the star filled night sky literally takes my breath away, as it reminds me of the immensity of the Divine Universe. Mama Earth brings me to my knees as I bask in her glory. I come home to myself and I meet the emotional challenge with an open heart and a strong desire to be whole; to never exclude any part of myself.
After working with a new client today, I was humbly reminded of how much more alive and joyous I feel when I am sharing my healing gifts with others. It's like doing this work is my life line, el umbral, the doorway to my own vitality and my own true self. It is when I love and heal you all that I am most able to love and heal myself. Thank you for the privilege!
With deeply felt love and gratitude,
Greetings from San Francisco, Nayarit, Mexico!!
I'm hoping this blog entry finds you all well and gracefully navigating the changes in inner-landscape that are being required of all of us by Universal and Astrological energetic forces as of late. It has been an intensely active time energetically in the last two months. If it has you reeling slightly, or more than slightly, I encourage you to tap into your deep and intuitive senses of compassion and love. Especially were these two graces are directed inward. It is so important to have compassion for ourselves, and those in our lives, in times of struggle and change.
Below I share a poem that I wrote on the topic of love. As you read it and hear words such as love and partner, please read it in its broadest of meanings: To include love and partnership with self, and your Divine support system, as well as your human support system. To include your frienships and mentorships as well as your romantic partnership. Love is so central to our existence and we can sometimes become myopic and single minded in our definitions of love. As we narrow the scope and become more exclusive with our openness to and concepts of love, we unnecessarily limit the connections and support that we can feel from the larger human and spiritual community that is here, attempting to support us, if we would only let that support in. I share this poem and the quality of love and compassion that it requires of us, with a deep sense of gratitude that you are all on this journey with me.
With much love and gratitude,
You see there's this certain vibration
I'm really trying to reach
To help me open to the flow
A thin veil I'm trying to breach
It requires an abundance of self-love
A relatively new concept for me
It leaves no room for compromise
Certain things simply no longer comfort me
It feels rather demanding
Who am I to ask so much?
It just won't stop commanding
I don't want to use a crutch
I'm ready to stand ~strong and bright
Nothing broken inside my heart
A partner must be compassionate and upright
Are you ready to play that part?
It really is essential
That we both be on the same page
A relationship ~ornamental
Is the equivalent of a cage
The heart is a sacred temple
It's also a terrific gauge
The messages it sends ~true and simple
Letting us know when we've lost our way
With the arrival of Fall you can always expect some interesting energies to come your way. As we prepare to become more introspective (the Yin feminine energy), we can feel some interesting resistance. As humans, we are more accepting of an outwardly focused existence than we are of deep introspection. Our "inner-space" is an unfamiliar and intimidating place. Uncharted territory. For us to truly feel whole, it is necessary to engage with all of the aspects of our being. We need to become just as familiar with the workings of our heart and our spirit as we are with our outer body. It is just as necessary to know what makes your heart and spirit swell with joy, as it is to know which foods do and don't agree with you.
The way that this autumnal energy has been manifesting in my life, is with an unprovoked and unsolicited serge of poetic elixir that is simply bubbling up from inside of me. A friend who read one of the poems that have emerged commented: "When I first read it, it didn't sound like you. And then I thought, well this must be what's inside of you". The desire to write poetry imposed itself on me. In a very real way, my soul said I need this from you, even if it doesn't make sense to you. What I am starting to discover, as I allow this energy to unfold, is that the poetic me is permitted to express things with a tone that I don't allow myself to use. This is a gift that my inner self is giving me that allows me to actively participate in becoming whole. It is an offering from the Universe. She is inviting me to celebrate and cherish ALL of me. I am being asked to speak with all of my voices.
I invite you to do the same. Travel deep into your inner cavern and discover a part of you that has been lost or silenced. Welcome it home; knowing that it is an essential part of your being. It feels more peaceful in this body when we allow ourselves to BE whomever it is that we ARE, complete and un-fragmented.
If you need some assistance wading through the inner "clutter". I am offering an hour and a half session for "Deep Energetic House Keeping". We have a belief that some journeys require we travel alone. In my experience, all journeys are more joyful in the company of our loved ones and guides.
So much love and gratitude,
Tawa Ranes has a very curious nature and has always been interested in the nature of consciousness and the workings of the Universe. Since healing has been a big part of her own personal journey, much of her curiosity focuses on the understanding of how and why healing occurs or fails to take place.