Dreams, Divine Downloads and Devotion

Hello all you beautiful humans!

I hope this message finds you well. It has been far too long. I miss you.

I have been necessarily silent; cocooning. Only sticking my head or feet out from time to time to deal with the particulars required of me at this stage in life. Each time quickly and carefully retracting my head and feet until the next time life demands something of me. I have treasured the safety and warmth of my cocoon. I also understand that it is a transitory and impermanent home. And that at some point, I will have to emerge from its soft pliable walls out into the material plane to commune more fully with my earthly and human families. Admittedly, I’m a bit scared. I don’t know where I now fit, and who will embrace me and who will reject what I represent to them. I have come to a place, yet again, where it feels like I am starting anew. The old way of being me no longer fits and the new me hasn’t yet fully arrived. She is still in the process of self-discovery and figuring out how to introduce herself to me. She is surprisingly shy.

Despite my obvious hesitance to leave this place of gestation, the Universe is trying to pique my curiosity any way it can, using all that thrills me to lure me out of my cocoon and encourage me to unfurl my wings. Goddess is imperceptibly (almost) whispering in my ear, “It’s so juicy and fun out here. I know you want to come out and play.” Together they remind me how interesting I find life on Mother Earth, even as I am recovering from just a little too much earth reality this year. They know I won’t ignore serendipity and lucid dreams. That I’ll never turn down the opportunity to swim in the ethers and explore the void. And thus, they are pushing those experiences into my field.

The Divine has sent three recent invitations for me to come out and play. The first, dreaming of being violently pursued by someone. After unsuccessfully trying to escape their pursuit with my ability to fly (which was what made them think I was magical and dangerous in the first place), I realized that the only way to resolve the situation was to use my ‘real magic’ of being able to bi-locate/ astral travel. The second of these moments of clarity was simply being reminded by Lee Harris that one of the most helpful aspects of channeling is that it gives us more access to our own intuition, and that by practicing channeling we allow our intuitive abilities to expand. The third was being brought to tears in my Hellenistic astrology course when my teacher talked about the real magic of astrology being when we move from using it as a divination tool to a devotional tool, in which we meditate and converse directly with the planets. “And the Cosmos as a whole,” my internal addition to the idea, as he spoke, and my heart swelled with joy and my eyes filled with tears.

What do these three things have to do with each other? Well, they are all ways in which we reach out into the ethers, beyond our material existence and understanding, to connect to and communicate with the energetic multidimensional universe. Lucid dreaming, channeling and being in devotion to the divine Universe are some of the most potent ways to access Source (God) and the primal void. At least in my experience. Wow, these practices really turn me on! Goddess and Gaia know this. They know I will take the bait. I have engaged with this kind of magic many times in my life and have experienced massive transformation and joy as a result. The Universe seems to know that of late I have been pulled down and stuck in my materiality more than usual, and that I likely need a little inspiration.

There has been substantial restructuring of my daily life in the last couple of years, internally and externally. From transitioning to having a summer home and a winter home, to working less with clients and doing more elder care and property management, and finally to helping my ovaries and hormones shift their roles in my body. An interesting byproduct of these changes has been a deeper exploration into how ‘being of service’ impacts me. I often only look at how I hope for it to impact others. It has brought up the question of whether I can continue to be of service to the world (something that feels very important to me) in the ways that I did in my early adulthood and have for the last decade or so. It’s a very practical inquiry. The primary concern is to decipher whether I have enough physical and emotional stamina to do elder care and see clients? I have always found healing work to be energizing, however elder care is bone-deep exhausting. I don’t know if that is because while we are physically, legally and financially assisting that person we are also emotionally processing the idea of the inevitable end to a parent’s life. Or if it’s merely physical exhaustion? I suspect the former is the more energy depleting of the two.

Cocooning has allowed for this contemplation to take place with minimal outside, specifically societal, influence. It’s allowed me to reserve my energy for the task at hand: caring for an aging parent. The first sign of me curiously peaking my head out of that cocoon has been the arrival of new creative juices, and the desire to use them to reach out to all of you. Not to mention the energy to follow through with that yearning. To share with you that I am still here; looking out at the world with awe and wonder, contemplating what each piece of minutia might mean and how it fits into the larger tapestry. Still evolving and still often confused by the evolutionary process. Reaching out to encourage you to stay alert to how the Universe and Goddess are talking to you right now. To invite you to join me in my renewed commitment to the practices that most serve my desire to stay close to the wisdom of the Universe, which comes to me by way of my intuition. Maybe for you it isn’t lucid dreaming, channeling or devotion. It might be hiking, gardening and cycling. However you commune with divinity and tap into your intuition, I invite you to join me in giving it more space and attention. As we do, we will likely be surprised at how quickly life starts to feel more expansive and satisfying. 

This experience reminds me of how I felt decades ago when I first read the Yoga Sutras. One of the final sutras talks about us being able to run out and help/ heal anyone, anywhere in the universe once we have moved into the magical journey of yoga deeply enough (lots of paraphrasing and synthesis here). Reading that passage for the first time also brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t understand it, the idea seemed brilliant yet impossible. I might not even understand it now, but I felt its truth. It hit my body and my heart as an undeniable universal truth. We can be of service to everything and everyone everywhere if we are living our own truth and in alignment with the principles of this divine Universe. I feel this truth in my life every day.

Maybe the way that we are of service in this life, the way that we contribute, has nothing at all to do with the work we do or the lifestyle we have or how much of our time and energy are spent in direct service to humans and society. Maybe it doesn’t matter that I am bone-deep exhausted from the last six months of elder care. Maybe we simply sit on our meditation cushions in gratitude for the support of our guides, angels and the Universe itself, or in our computer chair writing our heart’s truth, or with our feet on the earth acknowledging the awe we feel toward this magical planet we inhabit. Maybe that is all we must do to be in service to the whole of life. It might be just that simple. 

With all my love, Tawa
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P.S. Jump into the comment box and tell me how you are and what you are experiencing these days. I would love to hear from you.